Tchaikovsky and Children

Gabe and I enjoyed a romantic date to the symphony last night to hear Tchaikovsky's piano concerto no. 1. This is one of my favorite pieces and I love to play it in the car. Persephone calls it the "Thunder and Lightening Song" because of the dramatic opening. I found myself listening to the piece in rapture as the superb soloist effortlessly played, and I began to get excited about taking Persy with us to the symphony some day. (The pianist performing was only 17 and had played his first recital at age 4. I can't even imagine Persy sitting still for that long, let alone practicing the piano right now. Apparently we are really slacking as parents! ;) When the 2nd movement began, I started to feel a strong emotional pull toward the next little baby that we hope to have come to our home. I have no idea how long this adoption will take, but I feel like I am being prepared to open my heart for another child. It amazes me that what I struggle to express in writing, Tchaikovsky seemed to express magically in his music.

Paperwork and Prayers

We just finished up the paperwork towards getting approval for another adoption. Gabe and I both had our interviews with the case worker this week and I couldn't even talk about our previous adoption without getting all mushy and choked up. Honestly, adopting Persephone has been the greatest blessing of our marriage. We are both madly in love with this little girl and when I think about Persy's birth mother I am filled with profound gratitude and awe. We have begun to pray earnestly that another child might come to our family. Wish us luck!

3 Years

Dear Daughter,

Could it really be just 3 years ago that we met? Something tells me that we've known each other much longer. I am thankful every day that you came to our family and answered the tears and prayers of many long years. Happy Birthday my adventurous, loving, intelligent little girl! You are incredible and I watch in wonder as you grow with each year.

Fun to Be One

Reliving the day I met this little elfin child. Peering through the nursery window, I was mesmerized with her delicate features, huge eyes, and perfectly round little noggin. I held her in my arms and felt so overwhelmed with joy that I thought I couldn't possibly feel sad ever again. What a year we've had. More reports of birthday festivities to follow . . .

Temple Sealing

We had the privilege of taking Persy to the temple with us last week to be sealed as a family. It made me so happy to be in the temple surrounded by friends and family that love us. I felt so grateful for the support and love.

I've thought a lot about the adventure we've had in choosing adoption for our family and I can honestly say that what started out as a trial has become the greatest blessing of my life. Not only did it bring us a beautiful and sweet little daughter, it also taught me many lessons about myself and putting faith in God. I hope that next time the Lord's timing doesn't coincide with my timing I will look back on this experience and feel hopeful. (This picture was taken in front of the Mormon temple in Salt Lake City. If you would like to learn more about Mormon temples you can visit www.mormon.org)

This is a picture of our good friends Marisa and Dave. Dave is a graphic designer and helped us create an attractive adoption profile that really highlighted our interests and personality. I wish I had taken more pictures of the other friends we had in attendance as well as the family members present. I was so busy chatting with people afterwards, that I neglected the camera.



Gabe's Grandma- my 90 year old grandmother was also in attendance



My Parents



The Handsome and Happy Father with his Daughter



4 Generations

A Few More Pictures . . .

Our amazing attorney for the adoption represented us for free and took it upon himself to take pictures of the finalization! I'm very grateful on both accounts.

It's Official!

We had an exciting and somewhat tense morning in court today to finalize our adoption. Our particular adoption had some additional legal complications, so the head of the adoption agency also showed up to testify. I thought some of the questions the lawyer had to ask me were a little strange, such as "Are you more than 10 years older than this child?" The judge was friendly, but rather grave and serious and didn't crack a smile until the whole procedure was through. He asked a few questions about the birth father and we were concerned that he would want to reschedule the hearing in order to have more time to review our file. Afterwards, he let us come up to the stand to take pictures with him. Persephone was excited throughout most of the procedure and kept squealing and growling. Towards the end she was screaming and thoroughly ready for a nap. When we got to the car she immediately fell asleep, which allowed Gabe and I to enjoy a celebratory breakfast at a favorite cafe near Liberty Park. We're are so happy to be an "official" family now!

Semi-Activisim

In honor of National Adoption Awareness month I participated in a walk yesterday. It was kind of lame though because Gabe had to work and I didn't know anyone and felt ultra introverted. Basically we just met and meandered around the park wearing orange. There really didn't seem to be a lot of energy in the group. I decided that next time I'm an activist their needs to be chanting or picketing of some kind. I mean really! I thought the Falun Dafa crowd that was meditating near by exhibited more passion than us. Anyhow, they had free burritos so we could refuel after our athletic little saunter, so I guess it wasn't a total waste.

Speaking of adoption, a friend of mine from high school adopted a little girl on Friday. They had been planning for the adoption for nearly the entire pregnancy. When it came time for the birth mother to deliver they drove up from Texas. I guess the birth mother started to have doubts at the hospital. They were really nervous that she wouldn't sign and so they gathered the whole family together to go to the LDS temple. When they got out of the temple there was a message on their phone saying the birth mother had signed the papers and the baby was ready to be picked up. I was so happy to hear their news that I literally cried knowing the anxiety and joy they must have felt during the experience. I have such a deep respect for the maturity and love that it takes for a birth mother to make this difficult choice for her child. Although I've never met Persephone's birth mom, I pray for her constantly and feel incredibly grateful that she has given us the opportunity to be parents.

One Last Visit

Warning: Whiny content ahead . . .

I have spent the morning preparing for one final home visit from our case worker. We have been assigned a new case worker, so I've felt pressured to get the house white glove ready again for fear that any errant crumbs could incriminate me. I have enjoyed most aspects of our adoption but the very idea that we are still under surveillance irritates me. I found the whole approval process for the adoption a little invasive. In addition to the endless paperwork, we had doctor's appointments, background checks, and interviews where we were asked everything from how we were disciplined as children to questions about our sex lives. Um. . . excuse me? I could not be happier with our child, but I'm ready for the state to stop treating us like trial parents.

Showered with Love: Part II

On Saturday, my family hosted a wonderful shower for Persephone. It was fun to see many of my relatives and show off Persy.


Aunt Julie and Cousin Melodie


Wendy, Grammy, Persy


My creative sister came up with many fun games. In my favorite game, each guest was given a bag of candy and then told to create a baby out of their items. I got to be the judge for the best work of art!


Aunt Laura, Grandma, Persephone


Great Aunt Janelle


Shower Babies

One Wonderful Month

It has been one happy and exciting month since we brought Persy into our family. I just can’t adequately describe how rewarding this experience has been, (and continues to be day after day.) I love being a mother and I feel overjoyed that we were able to be blessed through the miracle of adoption. Going through the adoption process has really strengthened my faith and testimony of the Savior. I feel like I have a greater understanding of how much the Lord loves us and cares about each of us. When we found out that we had been chosen to be the parents of Persephone I felt such a warm sense of our Heavenly Father’s love not only for us, but for our daughter. I really know that he has a plan for her life.

Persephone Wendy

Beautiful Baby!!!

Our beautiful baby girl has arrived!!! We got the call on Thursday afternoon. I was at work and left immediately, but then it was several hours of waiting before we got to go to the hospital. We went to see her in the nursery at 9:00 p.m. on Thursday evening and I couldn't believe how much hair she had! It was a very surreal experience to hold her for the first time. We spent several hours just staring at her. We went home exhausted, thinking we might get a little sleep, but I was just too excited to sleep and was up most the night.

On Friday, we spent the whole day at the hospital. The staff let us use a small room that they had available for nursing mothers, and we just rocked her in the rocking chairs. Neither of us could put her down. There was just this wonderful, peaceful spirit that pervaded the room. It was incredible, because I had expected to be super stressed about the papers getting signed, and instead I just felt happy because I knew this was our daughter and everything was going to work out.

We decided to name our daughter Persephone Wendy, after the Greek goddess. The name has special meaning to us and I'll tell the story in a whole different blog post. She weighed 6 pounds and 6 ounces, and has already gained a whole ounce! I was happy to hear that she had gained even a little weight when we went to the doctor's office today. Our pediatrician was really pleased as well. Persephone is very healthy and doing perfectly.

I'll write more soon, sorry I've been such a terrible blogger. I know that everyone is anxious to hear details. I want to thank everyone for being SO incredibly supportive. I have felt so much love from all of our friends and family. I just feel completely overjoyed, and overwhelmed with gratitude right now. I can't even think about our daughter and this experience without getting emotional.

Still Waiting . . .

We just learned this week that the doctor has pushed back the birth mother's due date until June 21st. The wait continues . . .

Final Preparations

Gabe and I are quite on edge just waiting for that phone call that will tell us that the baby has arrived. We have the house cleaned, a name picked out, a peditrician chosen, and basic necessities bought. We are ready . . . well, sortof. How do you really prepare to be hit with the biggest change of your life? Yikes!

Adoption Terminology To Know

Every so often I hear well-meaning people use rather negative terms to describe adoption. We feel so strongly about adoption and such love for the birth mother that I get upset when people look at adoption as a "last resort." I'm including some positive terminology to replace old terms that some readers may find useful or of interest.

Negative:
Put up for adoption
Adopted/Give up
Real Parent (I find this one especially irksome!)
Natural Parent
Adopted child
Illegitimate child
Unwanted child


Positive:
Baby joined the family/Place the baby
Adoption plan was made for
Birth parent
Biological Parent
My child
Born outside of marriage
Born to a single person

"What if she Changes her Mind?"

I’ve been going crazy with the “What if” game this morning, asking myself questions like, “What if there’s something wrong with the baby? What if I’m not a good mother or I don’t like being a mother? What if we get the phone call in the middle of the night and I don’t hear it?” Then, there is the most terrifying question of all, “What if she, (the birth mother), changes her mind?”

When we first found out that we had been chosen by a mother we were excited but reserved. We didn’t want to be let down if anything went wrong with this adoption. We know all the stories of couples that get chosen and then the mother changes her mind in the end. Now that we’ve started to prepare the nursery, pick out names, plan for the future, and tell friends and family, this has not just been “a baby,” it has become “Our baby.” Sadly, if things do go wrong and she changes her mind I’m afraid of how painful that will be for us. It will be like we’ve lost a child, even though in actuality this child is not ours yet. . . Anyhow, it gets me overwhelmed to even think about. Please, just keep us and the birth mother in your prayers. We can only hope that she will continue to feel at peace with her decision and that we will be blessed to be parents soon.

"Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice . . . "

"That's what little girls are made of." We got the ultra-sound results this week and were excited to hear that the baby is a girl. We were even more pleased to hear that the baby is looking healthy and well. The other news is that the doctor said the baby could be born any day now and the birth mother is already dialated, (just to a 1.) We’re hoping the baby can give us at least another week though since we are still in the thick of cleaning the house and taking items to storage.

Adoption Update!

It has been an exciting and eventful week for our family. On Monday, we got a rather mysterious call from our case worker, Kim, asking us to come down to LDS Family services to sign some paperwork. She kept stressing the importance that we both come together and Gabe and I had the suspicion that this might just be “the call.”
When we arrived at Kim’s office there was a basket full of diapers, baby wipes and lotion and Kim told us that there was a birth mother who had chosen us for her baby! The birth mother is due the first part of June and has opted for a closed adoption at this point, so we really don’t know too much about her. We know that she is a single mother in her thirties with two young girls at home. We also know that she and the birth father are Caucasian and we have been given a profile on her medical background. She hasn’t had much prenatal care during her pregnancy, so we don’t know the sex of the child. She is scheduled for an ultra-sound next week and we hope to hear that the baby is healthy. (We’re excited to find out the sex, but could care less as to whether we get a boy or a girl.)
It was really exciting to get all this information and I left the office feeling a great peace and joy. I am overwhelmed with gratitude to this loving woman who has chosen us for her child. I’m amazed that this stranger is willing to give us such a gift. I am also overwhelmed with gratitude to the Lord and his love for us and this baby.
The rest of the week has been rather emotional for both Gabe and I. We vacillate between joy, excitement, fear, and panic. We are terrified that the birth mother will change her mind and choose to keep the baby. This is a distinct possibility until the paperwork gets signed after the birth of the child. There has also been very little sleep this week, (for me anyway, Gabe seems able to sleep through anything!) It is really hard to believe that in just a couple of weeks we could have an infant in our home! We have SO MUCH to do to get ready!

One Year Later . . .

Gabe and I began the process of trying to adopt a baby exactly one year ago. We started our paperwork in January 2007 and were approved for adoption in August. This past year has really been a spiritual adventure as we've learned to put our trust in the Lord and as we've struggled with learning patience. I've come to believe that whatever trials we experience in life come with an equal if not greater amount of spiritual blessings. I'll admit that there have been discouraging moments, but every time I find myself despairing I feel that the Lord is there to comfort me and teach me some new found lesson. I feel so grateful that I have had such an upbeat and strong spouse that is there to offer council and encouragement. I know that we'll be parents someday and this thought fills me with joy and hope.