I’ve been going crazy with the “What if” game this morning, asking myself questions like, “What if there’s something wrong with the baby? What if I’m not a good mother or I don’t like being a mother? What if we get the phone call in the middle of the night and I don’t hear it?” Then, there is the most terrifying question of all, “What if she, (the birth mother), changes her mind?”
When we first found out that we had been chosen by a mother we were excited but reserved. We didn’t want to be let down if anything went wrong with this adoption. We know all the stories of couples that get chosen and then the mother changes her mind in the end. Now that we’ve started to prepare the nursery, pick out names, plan for the future, and tell friends and family, this has not just been “a baby,” it has become “Our baby.” Sadly, if things do go wrong and she changes her mind I’m afraid of how painful that will be for us. It will be like we’ve lost a child, even though in actuality this child is not ours yet. . . Anyhow, it gets me overwhelmed to even think about. Please, just keep us and the birth mother in your prayers. We can only hope that she will continue to feel at peace with her decision and that we will be blessed to be parents soon.